(Just Like) Starting Over

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After a horrible car accident, Guillermo "Guy" Rivera doesn't even remember who he is. Suffering from amnesia, bound to a wheelchair with a broken arm and a broken leg, he relies on his in-home caregiver, Dane Mathis, to help him with everything from bathing to eating. Guy wants Dane to be more than just a caregiver, but Dane keeps his distance.

Six months after their relationship ends, Dane Mathis dropped everything to help Guy put his life back together. It is difficult to treat Guy like a stranger, but he knows he must not give in to his deep desires. He won't risk Guy's anger by revealing the true nature of their relationship. Or the reality of their past together.

Even so, Dane can't help but hope that this is the second chance they have both longed for.

What other people are saying...

This book was awesome. The character Dane at first was very frustrating because Guy wanted to love him and Dane kept pulling away and it seemed as if Dane was going to leave, but then it comes out what had happened and why things were the way they were...Overall, I recommend this book highly.--blondie Rainbow Reviews

Excerpt

Guy didn't speak again until they were behind his apartment door. "What if I fire you?"

"What?"

"What if I fire you and find a new caregiver? Would you have the same objections todating me then?"

Dane blinked, shocked that Guy had stated his desires so plainly. "You're serious?"

"I'm extremely serious."

"I still wouldn't date you."

"Why not?"

"You only feel this way because I've been seeing to all your needs, and I have to be patient and thoughtful and kind, and I never show you any of my bad sides. I'm working every second we're together, Guy. Who's to say you'll like me when you get to see my other side?"

"I want to see all your sides. I can't imagine there's a side of you I wouldn't like."

"Just because you can't imagine it doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

"If you're not interested in me, why don't you just say so? Why do you keep hiding behind your job?"

Dane knew he should answer the question directly. But that was one lie he couldn't add to the already unwieldy web. "You don't want to try to start a relationship now, Guy. You're missing most of your life."

"What? You think because I can't remember what happened last year, I don't know what I'm feeling now?"

"I'm saying what happened last year could affect how you feel now. What if…?"

"What if what?"

"What if your memory comes back tomorrow and you remember that you're in love with Oliver?"

"I'm not."

"You just don't know that. You were with him for six months. Something in those six months must have given you reason to think that you wanted to be with him."

"And then he turned his back on me when I needed him the most. I don't think he could have done anything in the past six months to make up for that. As far as I'm concerned, anything we had before the accident is over."

Dane shook his head. "We're not having this discussion. I'll help get you set up for the night, but then I need to go."

Guy inclined his head. Dane hoped that would be the end of the discussion. He helped Guy out of his shirt and pants, working a little more briskly than he needed to. He could only hope that Guy hadn't noticed the way his fingers trembled. For the first time, he was looking forward to leaving Guy alone. If he didn't escape, he would be at risk. They'd both be at risk.

"Dane…" Guy caught his hand once Dane helped him into the bed. "You don't need to go."

"Yes, I do. Because…Guy, I can't just tell you I'm not interested in you. I am. But I don't want to leave while you're still recovering. I don't want to trust your health to somebody else."

"Listen." Guy squeezed his fingers. "We're both consenting adults, aren't we?"

"Consenting to what?"

"A kiss to start." The corner of Guy's mouth lifted. "Who knows? Maybe we don't have any chemistry."

"So really…a consensual kiss might be the best thing we can do at this point."

"Yeah."

Dane felt at war with himself, but at the same time, he felt like the outcome was fated. There was only one real response to Guy's request, only one possible conclusion. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be noble. He wanted to hold himself up to the highest standard and never falter. But that didn't seem possible now. Not faced with the reality of his desire.

He loved Guillermo Rivera. And he would be in love with him for the rest of his life. He had already spent too many nights fantasizing about this moment, this opportunity, when they could put all the hurt and betrayal behind them and share a single kiss.
But it would only be a kiss. Because anything beyond that would feel unethical, if not downright immoral. Guy might be a consenting adult, but he didn't fully understand what he was consenting to, and Dane did not ever want to take advantage of Guy.

"One kiss," Dane murmured, tilting his head.

"One kiss," Guy agreed, leaning forward to meet Dane's mouth.